Hey interwebs
I ended up at emergency because my oncology nurse was nervous of my breathing and increased cough. As far as they can tell after six hours of testing and saline solution, I'm physically and mentally exhausted.
I'm not overly surprised. FEC is an aggressive chemo treatment. It's used with a lot of early stage breast cancer because it is aggressive, and now that I'm late stage, my body is already weakened. I was getting spoiled with treatments that gave me a higher quality of life so I did not rest enough, I guess. And, well, I'm having a lot of noncancer related issues that are taking their toll on my mind and body.
One funny thing that happened was just before I was instructed to go to the hospital by my nurse, I had decided to ask for help in creating a new mealtrain account for our family. Mealtrain is great because people near and far can help. It is free but you can apparently pay for more options and fundraise on it as well. I've just opted for the free version that helps with one meal on days that you need it. That's the great thing, you just open the days you can really use the help. Friends can either deliver food, order food for you to pick up or have delivered, or send gift cards to cover the meal. It's one less thing for me to have on my mind and lets me sleep more. As added security/privacy, you cannot just look up the mealtrain for someone, you need to be invited. I like that, you're not going to get strangers messing with the account and you can make sure that only those that want to sign up do. I'm fortunate that I've had friends local and away signing up to help.
I'm hoping my energy boosts up and I can maybe remove a few of the days I have selected, but for now I'm grateful that in a time of need, I have people helping me. Thank you!
PS:
If you are someone that would like to be added to the mealtrain for my family, please contact me. I'm not placing the link on here
Saturday 31 August 2019
Tuesday 27 August 2019
By
What's your life motto turning out to be? "There's more fish in the sea"? "Tomorrow's another day"? "Be the good in the world"? My husband's and mine has been looking to be the same for the last decade: "We'll somehow get by." This could easily be exchanged with "We'll find a way," or many other close clustering of words along the same lines. But the problem is, we're getting tired of just "getting by."
We go to the doctor's and find out that the cancer is spreading, onto a new treatment: "We'll somehow get by."
We look at our expenses increasing and I still cannot work: "We'll somehow get by."
The new medication needed for treatment is another expense for us to shell out for: "We'll somehow get by."
I'm too tired or sick to cook and my husband's exhausted from work and chasing kids, order food but it's costly: "We'll somehow get by."
Appliances break: "We'll somehow get by."
Childcare costs increase: "We'll somehow get by."
We lose a main source of help and childcare assistance: "We'll somehow get by."
That new treatment isn't working, try another: "We'll somehow get by."
Kids need school supplies, clothes, broke something in the house..again: "We'll somehow get by."
Animal needs to go to the vet: "We'll somehow get by."
Our hopeful vacation has us stressed out over multiple things that won't stop or be corrected: "We'll somehow get by."
A much needed quiet night in gets turned upside down by an accident or sudden change in plans: "We'll somehow get by."
I need to go on another new treatment and the side effects will potentially destroy chances to take care of myself, let alone children: "We'll somehow get by."
I get admitted to the hospital..again: "We'll somehow get by."
We do get some positive things that happen, times that we think we'll finally get a foothold on our lives. Things do tend to go the most sideways, then. Extra things suddenly break, go missing, or simply go wrong. We're trying to see the bright side, but sometimes the brightness is the flames of our hope burning like a forest fire. The warmth of the chaotic fire might take off the chill of our despair but it doesn't help with the issues that sparked the flames.
We're trying. That's all we can do. But it's starting to feel like that all we do, and it's making us feel less like living and more like barely surviving.
We go to the doctor's and find out that the cancer is spreading, onto a new treatment: "We'll somehow get by."
We look at our expenses increasing and I still cannot work: "We'll somehow get by."
The new medication needed for treatment is another expense for us to shell out for: "We'll somehow get by."
I'm too tired or sick to cook and my husband's exhausted from work and chasing kids, order food but it's costly: "We'll somehow get by."
Appliances break: "We'll somehow get by."
Childcare costs increase: "We'll somehow get by."
We lose a main source of help and childcare assistance: "We'll somehow get by."
That new treatment isn't working, try another: "We'll somehow get by."
Kids need school supplies, clothes, broke something in the house..again: "We'll somehow get by."
Animal needs to go to the vet: "We'll somehow get by."
Our hopeful vacation has us stressed out over multiple things that won't stop or be corrected: "We'll somehow get by."
A much needed quiet night in gets turned upside down by an accident or sudden change in plans: "We'll somehow get by."
I need to go on another new treatment and the side effects will potentially destroy chances to take care of myself, let alone children: "We'll somehow get by."
I get admitted to the hospital..again: "We'll somehow get by."
We do get some positive things that happen, times that we think we'll finally get a foothold on our lives. Things do tend to go the most sideways, then. Extra things suddenly break, go missing, or simply go wrong. We're trying to see the bright side, but sometimes the brightness is the flames of our hope burning like a forest fire. The warmth of the chaotic fire might take off the chill of our despair but it doesn't help with the issues that sparked the flames.
We're trying. That's all we can do. But it's starting to feel like that all we do, and it's making us feel less like living and more like barely surviving.
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