The Purpose of Life

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Art of Happiness

Why is it that I am at my most content when I am painting or creating something for someone?  I love to paint and draw, create images on the computer, etc, and I'm trying very hard to get time to do this once more.  Injuries do not always allow me the luxury of sitting in one area long enough to complete a work like I once could.  This is a slight deterrent for me.  But I am trying.  My son seems to love creating as much as I do, he insisted on "helping mommy paint" so I grabbed a blank canvas, gave him a paint brush, and my only assistance was pouring the paint out so he could get it on his brush.  At one point he even turned to me (he was sitting on my lap), and said, "Mommy, you lay down, I paint, now."  This was his way of telling me he was going to paint on his own, with no assistance.  I asked if I could still pour out the paint, and that, he said, was okay.  He's only 3 years old.  He was extremely proud of his painting once it was complete.  As was I.

But this brings me back to my point, because my son told me his painting was for mommy.  He did not create it and feel proud because he had accomplished something, he was proud because he made me a gift.  This is how I feel.  I know many artists berate others for "giving away" their art, and yes I like money, but I love the sense of giving something to others, especially if I created it.  Is it simply from our childhood when a macaroni painting would be accepted from our guardians as though it was a replica of the Mona Lisa?  Is it from when our finger paintings and rough drawings of the imaginings of our heads seemed to overwhelm them like seeing the Northern Lights in person?  I cannot say.

I would love to have enough money, time, and health to simply dive into all the artwork in my head and simply leave it on the intended person's doorstep, hiding in the bushes to see their reaction as they receive it.  That would be enough.  I guess that's why I have a hard time putting a price on my art.  Value of art is never set in a monetary state.  It's in smiles, giggles, and tears.

Benefits to having Cancer: Part Two

You will feel important with your new "entourage".  Only they're not wealthy friends and followers, they're your gp, oncologist, radiation oncologist, surgeon, plastic surgeon, social worker, and as many nurses as the day is long.

Your period will be booted out for an indefinite amount of time.  Thus you will save even more $ with not having to purchase maxi pads or tampons.

If you don't understand medical terms you will rival most doctors by the time you finish treatment.

You feel like a superhero with an alter ego with all the wigs in your repertoire.

The opportunity to have that boob size you always wanted is now courtesy of your health care.  Be as boobilicious as you like!

If you are able to ever have children again, you don't have to worry about lactating and expensive maternity bras!

You can impress all your geek friends with how remarkable your Darth Sidious costume looks! (No makeup required! Just a black cloak)

:)

World Cancer Day

Apparently we now have a World Cancer Day.  Perhaps we've had it all along, but this is the first I've heard of it.  My thoughts?  My heart is so disgusted that we need a day of recognition for this.  I wish it was something that never took parts of my body, my friends' bodies, and worse, my friends.  But as we have Remembrance Day to remember that many have come home shells of themselves or those that have lost their lives to bring you the world you have today, I guess I can understand why some would start a day for cancer.  I am not saying having cancer is in any way truly comparable to what those enlisted must endure, so please no comments on that, it is simply a comparison of why there are days of recognition.

What does one do on World Cancer Day?  How about you hug a loved one and be thankful they are there.  Smile at the way you look in the mirror, for you are here, and don't belittle the "imperfections" society has burned into your psyche.  Laugh at a joke your friend tells you or sends to you online.  Call someone you've not spoken to in a long time.  Schedule a check up with your doctor.  Ask a professional about that spot/lump/odd body function that appeared and you never wanted to bring up.

Send a note saying I miss you to someone that didn't make it.

If cancer is going to have a day to be thought of world wide, don't focus on the cancer, focus on the person dealing with it.

Unexpected miracles

Friends and family are now aware, but I've experienced a miracle recently.  Despite having 6 rounds of toxic chemotherapy, I am giddily happy to let the interwebs now know that I am pregnant.  I have spoken to my oncologist about this, and they wish me all good wishes.  The fact that the egg could create an embryo means the chemo did not affect my eggs to the point of sterilization and should not cause any side effects.

I know what it is like to be on the other side of the fence, now.  I have friends that cannot have children, and for a while, I was counted among them.  Seeing posts of growing bellies and constant updates of "baby so-and-so" now doing this or that can tear at your sanity.  I was always happy for my friends, but so bitter inside because that was one more thing cancer had taken from me.  I find that I am holding back a lot with posts about the pregnancy out of respect for that feeling.  I do not want to have my friends come to the point of needing to block my posts in their Facebook news feed.  Which, in some cases, was a necessary step to be able to face my own news feed the past two years.

If anyone has questions, I will answer them as best I can, but for the most part I will be limiting my pregnancy posts from this point on.  Thank you for all your support.  And, for those of you out there facing cancer now: there is hope.  Cancer may take a lot, but I hope you always find one thing that you thought it stole from you and can once more claim it as your own.  xoxo

Love is the greatest weapon

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr

YACC's Retreat Yourself 2013 registration is now open!

If you were diagnosed with any form of cancer between the ages of 18-39 (or there abouts) and are not too far off in that age, still, apply!  There's one in Nova Scotia, Alberta, and British Columbia this year, just click on the province for link's to YACC's site and application information.