Monday, 12 September 2016


Tomorrow is an anniversary for me. It's not my wedding anniversary, not my birthday, nothing like that. Tomorrow will have been 6 years since I heard something. Since I heard that the lump in me was cancer.

I've had lots of different chemotherapies and radiation. I've had days I couldn't get out of bed for more than to go pee. I've had days that I desperately wanted to be normal again. But I never get the typical normal life again. Even with stable scans my life won't be like the average 35 year old. I have cancer. I'll always have cancer. But I'm not cancer.

I play with my children, I play with my husband, I live, I breathe, I do my best to be present. I've had a couple years with no tumours but that time is gone.  Now I hope for years of stability, for I know not when the chemo will fail me.

6 years. That's more than a lot of my friends were given. Happy anniversary.

Saturday, 10 September 2016

Realities of metastatic cancer

Having metastatic cancer is smiling when your family can laugh when you're not in the room because that means they'll be happy even after you're gone