Tuesday, 19 June 2012


My surgery to get the permanent implants is in two days.  To say I'm nervous is an understatement.  This surgery will be in a different hospital than the last, I lost a dear friend in the exact same hospital last winter, and I'm also nervous because this is pretty much it.

If the implants look odd, there won't be too much that can be done about it, other than ask for another type of reconstruction.  I don't want to snip and tuck any other areas of my body so this, in my mind, is the only option.  I'm also biting my nails because the prophylactic side isn't smooth like the cancer side.  I'm nervous it won't flatten out and need more surgery to repair it.

Trying to stay positive, this is almost the end of the journey to look normal again.  I will have two lumps on my chest and there won't be ports on my ribs.  I'll have the "tear drop" shaped implant and it is the "gummi" silicone (if you were to slice it, it does not move because it is the same consistency as a gummi bear.  Yes, I Silverlupus will have gummi boobs!

Another positive, my husband was landed again to ensure he could be here for my surgery and help care for our son.  And once this is all behind us, if there are no other hiccups, he and I will be going on the first "us" vacation in four years.  I need a break.  I need a week where I'm not thinking about doctor's appointments, diapers, or bills.  Just hubby n me time.

I hope to be posting more frequently soon.  Bare will me, folks.  And wish me well.