Saturday, 31 December 2011

A request

As many of you begin to celebrate New Year's Eve, I ask you to think about your resolutions.  Please resolve to be kinder to those that need your patience, be open with your heart not just your wallet, take joy in your family (blood or not) for they love you for who you are, remember that the best way to turn off people is to show off, and let hope, faith, and love rule you, not despair, greed, and hate.

A smile is contagious, so is a laugh.  Brighten the world, one kind word/act at a time.

See you all in 2012 xoxo

Friday, 30 December 2011

A cure for cancer found but no one cared

I won't get into a long spiel, I want you to fully read this article that I'm attaching *CLICK HERE*

I will say that this is why most people that create items that can help us avoid going to the pharmaceutical companies and try to go private.

*Edit Dec 30 14:22 AST
I was looking up info on this and found the site that would have started this, it was from 2007, and has more updates but the last one was 2010 CLICK HERE Looks like there may be signs of truth to this, but the author in the site that I have in this blog may not have researched it enough to get the proper facts before publishing.  I remain optimistic that this has several grains of truth and that the pharmaceutical side is trying to keep it "hush hush" and attempting to make it look like a hoax so people forget about it

Wednesday, 28 December 2011


Fear is a part of life.  We have minor petty fears that are in our minds to keep us from trying things that are dangerous, things like "be wary of some animals, they can kill you".  This is normal, we need fear to strengthen us at times, we need it to drive us, and to help keep us aware of our surroundings.  But some fears can be paralyzing.  They can be something that grips at your heart and freezes you in terror.  This can be a phobia at times, an accentuated fear that we have of something reasonable but that personally you find to be more severe than the average person, like arachnophobia.  My moment of terror, aside from those creepy spiders that are larger than a twoonie (Canadian lingo for a two dollar coin), came creeping on a three word sentence, "It is cancer."

The fear was not that the large tumour in my breast was actually ductal carcinoma, it was something else.  I did not want to die.  And in my life, cancer had become pretty synonymous with death.  Not an immediate death, but a timeline much sooner than I would ever want.  The worst fear that came with my cancer verdict?  The fear of not seeing my son grow up.  The very, very close second: not spending decades more with my husband.  That fear filled me.  The terror that something in my body could possibly keep me from my future was paralyzing.  It was also motivating.  I had to make it through if there was a way.  As long as there was a chance, I would take it.  I would undergo any treatment to be rid of the cancerous cells and bring my risk of death at 29 years old down to the normal statistics.  To quote Geoff Eaton, "1% is not 0%", if there was a possibility, I would not give up.

I would like to take a second and ask everyone to think and pray for those that fought the statistics and could not turn them in their favour.  Those that had to leave their loved ones behind.  Their fears were not stronger than those of us still here, and I know they were not weaker people.  They simply could not fight the odds and as far as I have met, they were some of the strongest people you could ever meet.  Many of them left legacies and memories of how powerful they were despite having something plaguing their bodies and emotions.  I commend them and their loved ones.  They are the best examples of courage.

Our fears may not be something that can truly be conquered, they may be something that can cause weaker souls to crumble, but fears will always bring out the true self.  They will show the strong, they will show the heart, they will show the compassion that humans can possess.  They will show the cowardice, they will show the heartlessness, and they will show the ruthlessness of others.  My hope is that when we come to face our fears that we cling to our hearts and stand boldly as we decide to be a person of value or give in to the trepidation that plagues us.

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Merry Christmas

Wishing you and yours the all the best.  Hope your holidays are filled with joy and happiness, friends and family, and pleasure and gratitude.  May 2012 bring health, happiness, and bring good friends closer, keep family at heart, and give us all the peace our souls need.

I look forward to posting my insights, quotes, pics, and quips in the new year. :)

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Christmas songs

Here's some of my favorite Christmas songs to help you get your wrap on and spread some holiday cheer!

"All alone on Christmas" - Darlene Love

"12 Days" - Straight No Chaser

"Christmas Time (Don't let the bells end)" - The Darkness

"Merry Christmas Baby" - Bruce Springsteen & E-Street Band

Thursday, 15 December 2011

That Christmas Feeling

It's been years since I could have the kind of Christmas joy that takes over your entire being.  I've had a lot of upsets in the last decade, making one Christmas after another just not "feel right".  This isn't something that should be so complicated, but with life, is it ever anything but that?

I find that this year I have some of the joy coming to light.  My husband returns home soon, that will make it seem more like Christmas.  My son gets excited at all the items he's seen in the stores and doesn't realize they are in the room next to his, awaiting wrapping paper and a "Ho Ho Ho" from Saint Nick.  I'm in a house that I don't need to worry or even think about the neighbours pulling any form of childishness.  And soon we'll have the decorations up and bring that holiday sensation to a peak.

So why has it been so difficult the past few years?  Well, going through chemotherapy, doctors appointments, physiotherapy, grieving for those that passed away recently, among other things weighs a soul down.  Up until recently I haven't had anything lightening the load from my heart, it was always adding.  My family, my husband especially, would strengthen me, give me the ability to carry the weight I had been burdened with.  Now, I am finally starting to see some weight taken off.

The Christmas feeling isn't something that comes because you see Santa on every corner, or a Nativity scene displayed in every window.  It's not snow on the ground, it's not a decorated tree with presents underneath.  It's being with people that are honest, truly care for you, love you from their hearts and souls, completely believe in you, and respect you 100%.  There's no room for betrayal, one-upsmenship, deceit, or lies in the Christmas feeling.  Those actions actually steal from the joy and leave an emptiness in its place.  Christmas is a celebration of giving, a celebration of new chances.  Christmas is because of the gift God gave the Earth that day.  Christmas is a ray of light to brighten the darkness.  Christmas is hope.  And my hope is happiness.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

*Ahem* Mattel, here's an idea

Mattel should make a Barbie with no hair, so every little girl that is fighting cancer will realize they're beautiful.
This has been cirulating around Facebook as recommending "Disney" create a Barbie Doll that has no hair, but please correct it to Mattel, the actual manufacturers of the iconic toy.  It's a great idea though.

Friday, 9 December 2011

Happy dance!

Got a call today about my reconstruction date!!  Late February 2012 I go in for my reconstruction!  It will be the start of the process as I have opted for expanders which will lead to implants.  They'll stretch the skin so that I can have a size close to what I used to be.  I'm not about to try for DD implants lol so that's fine by me!  Wish me luck that all goes well!

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

December quote

"I am not alone at all, I thought. I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the word seemingly most indifferent. For this is still the time God chooses." -- Taylor Caldwell

Friday, 2 December 2011


I've been putting off working on my webcomic because of one real reason.  I had not found the particular style I want to use.  I know some may say to this "Just draw your own way", and to this I say, you're not an artist because you say that.  There is such a variety in formats to portray fictional characters and I have grown as an artist in learning various methods and formats.  There were a few things I made my mind on.  Things like, the style for my "were" creatures, that I was sure of, the mood of the comic, the events I wanted to have in certain areas.  But it is hard to get started when the proper way to express the characters is missing.

I have found myself looking at various webcomics, paper comics (yes, they still exist), cartoons, animes, and more trying to think of what I want and what I can convey.  Simple fact is as soon as I find it, or should I say, as soon as I found it, it would just click.  My belief in myself as an artist knows that once I found it I could do it.  It's not vanity, it's the knowledge that I have the skills to work and create the images in my head as soon as I have the format logically formulated.  And I'm glad to say, today, I became convinced that I found "the style".  Pics to follow >_>

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Christmas is creeping closer

One thing that is always fun to deal with as a "single parent" while your spouse is sailing is preparing for Christmas.  Sneaking presents in the house and shopping is much more of an adventure.  Trying to sort and wrap them is quite the quest as well lol.  I need to sort out where we're going to put our Christmas tree, it's a lot harder than I thought it would be.  Finding a good spot that has electrical sockets is proving interesting.

The good thing is that it gives me a sense of accomplishment being able to get some of the tasks completed.  Being able to actually say "That's done" is something that is a bit few and far between with having back issues and getting through treatments for breast cancer.  I've been able to check off quite a bit, at least.  And after a scare the other day, I needed a CT scan to be sure I didn't have appendicitis and it showed no signs of cancer (take the small victories!).  With that relief I'll start focusing again on trying to get the decorations up, house sorted, and, hopefully, all the presents done up!

Hope no matter what holiday you celebrate at this time of year you have as much fun getting ready for it as the event itself. =)  And if it is Christmas that you are counting down to, get to blaring those Christmas songs (from Bing Crosy, Burl Ives, and Kenny & Dolly, to Wham!,The Darkness, and U2) and get your wrap on ;)