Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Scalpel, Suture,.. Glue

So my adventures in reconstruction continue.  Last night at 1:30a my right "breast" (that's the cancer side for any newbies) decided to start leaking.  Yeah!  Luckily it was just seroma, no signs of infection, so the resident plastic surgeon at the hospital just told me to cover it with gauze and get in to see my plastic surgeon in the morning asap, she'd let them know I was coming.

My hubby and I got about 5 hours sleep and trudged into the hospital.  Thankfully they were moving well today, we got in to the room in about half an hour and saw the assistant surgeon in a couple minutes, my surgeon was only about a half hour after that.  Long story short, the radiation didn't help the healing of this incision, seroma filled behind it and it pushed through a weak spot that was really thin skin.  The fix?  Cut the incision and re-suture.

They were prompt enough to keep me in until they could move me to the "minor procedures" room and set me up for the immediate slice and stitch.  It's local anesthetic (honestly, I have no nerves there anymore so I didn't even feel the needle for the anesthetic), then scalpel, cut it back carefully (remember my implant is behind this skin), and sew me back up.  For added benefit, he had the nurse find some glue (like Superglue, only "surgical" grade, by the looks of the container HA!) and slather that over top of the new incision.  Some fashionable steri-strips to finish it off and I'm thanked for being a great patient, come back in two weeks!

I swear my breast didn't like the idea of being cut cold turkey from the hospital visits, so it acted up.  Bloody stubborn breast!

If this finally heals proper then I will be waiting 6 months to see how everything looks.  The cancer side is smaller, the radiation did make that side not stretch proper.  I like to explain it to people that the left side is like spandex and the right side is like denim, one stretched fine, the other doesn't have a lot of give.  If I really don't like the end result, there's lots of options.  I'm just not out of the woods yet.  Sooooo To be continued...

Friday, 13 July 2012

YACC Survivor Conference 2012 - let the fun begin!

YACC is having their Survivor Conference in Toronto this year and I have been accepted to attend!  I just need to raise the money for my travel expenses, YACC covers everything else.  This is an event where young adults from across the country get to meet and share experiences, have some fun, and fight the feeling of isolation that many of us battle.  I started an event on Facebook, a bottle drive, to go from now till late October to help me raise funds.  There may be a Climb fundraiser again, I'll keep everyone posted!  I appreciate all the support and help everyone sends my way.  I never would have been able to attend any of the events if it wasn't for the generosity of those that donated what they could afford.

For more info on YACC and the conference please click the above links.  If you'd like to help with the bottle drive and are in the HRM please CLICK HERE to join the Facebook event.

Monday, 9 July 2012

Simon's Cat

Here's one of a series of videos that helps to cheer me up.  Any cat lover can relate to Simon's Cat.

This one is called "Double Trouble", enjoy!

Saturday, 7 July 2012

It's a mental thing

Surgery was completed.  They had some issues, my muscles didn't want to co-operate so they had to be more forceful.  Therefore, I was in more pain than the average person.  Healing was followed by a great dose of idiocy on the part of my husband's work, but it got sorted out enough to cause only a minor hiccup in the healing process.

Things discovered in these past two weeks include a couple items that I am not too happy to admit.  I am very much self conscious of my image.  The surgery, although a success, was not something to close the book on my journey to seem more female.  The "breasts" do not match and one is much smaller than the other...  Not to mention that it also does not have any form of shape of a breast.  All this has entered my mind and caused me to feel like no matter what, my body will never look anything close to what I once had.  Perhaps it was childish to think that I could appear as I once did, a fairytale ending to the painful journey, but it was a hope from the start.  I need to start accepting that I will have a very different body.  I will not have what I once did, I will be different in appearance.

Another thing I'm noticing, I am coming to loathe hearing people talk about how much the are helping those with breast cancer by running a marathon.  I have met so many people that will never be touched by the funds being funneled into these high-profile walks.  The money will go to advertising, maybe some to research, perhaps there will even be a fraction of a percentage that goes to a support group somewhere in a large city.  If you want to raise money for the organization, that's fine, but don't think you're going to make me all fuzzy because you tell me how much you support that annual run.

I am hoping to one day feel more accepting of the many different feelings and awarenesses that I am experiencing.  I know this will be a long journey, but I will travel it.  I will try to find more understanding within myself, and perhaps understand and accept the things that I am enduring.