By

What's your life motto turning out to be? "There's more fish in the sea"? "Tomorrow's another day"? "Be the good in the world"? My husband's and mine has been looking to be the same for the last decade: "We'll somehow get by." This could easily be exchanged with "We'll find a way," or many other close clustering of words along the same lines. But the problem is, we're getting tired of just "getting by."

We go to the doctor's and find out that the cancer is spreading, onto a new treatment: "We'll somehow get by."
We look at our expenses increasing and I still cannot work: "We'll somehow get by."
The new medication needed for treatment is another expense for us to shell out for: "We'll somehow get by."
I'm too tired or sick to cook and my husband's exhausted from work and chasing kids, order food but it's costly: "We'll somehow get by."
Appliances break: "We'll somehow get by."
Childcare costs increase: "We'll somehow get by."
We lose a main source of help and childcare assistance: "We'll somehow get by."
That new treatment isn't working, try another: "We'll somehow get by."
Kids need school supplies, clothes, broke something in the house..again: "We'll somehow get by."
Animal needs to go to the vet: "We'll somehow get by."
Our hopeful vacation has us stressed out over multiple things that won't stop or be corrected: "We'll somehow get by."
A much needed quiet night in gets turned upside down by an accident or sudden change in plans: "We'll somehow get by."
I need to go on another new treatment and the side effects will potentially destroy chances to take care of myself, let alone children: "We'll somehow get by."
I get admitted to the hospital..again: "We'll somehow get by."

We do get some positive things that happen, times that we think we'll finally get a foothold on our lives. Things do tend to go the most sideways, then. Extra things suddenly break, go missing, or simply go wrong. We're trying to see the bright side, but sometimes the brightness is the flames of our hope burning like a forest fire. The warmth of the chaotic fire might take off the chill of our despair but it doesn't help with the issues that sparked the flames.

We're trying. That's all we can do. But it's starting to feel like that all we do, and it's making us feel less like living and more like barely surviving.