A quick look inside my head

People seem confused as to why those that have been affected by cancer say that they will always have that "monkey on their back".  Well there's a lot that we deal with before even approaching cancer diagnosis.  So I'm going to give you an idea of the thoughts that pass through my head in about a minute.  Enjoy:

• Will this reconstruction work?
• Why is there a burning feeling at the port?
• Will this pain in my chest go away soon?  Is it just the muscles being cranky like the doctor said?
• Why couldn't that driver have paid attention so I didn't have these injuries now?
• Will my shoulder and back ever be normal again?
• Why won't my doctors condone me trying medicinal marijuana? I've tried every other frigging drug they gave me to put in my body
• Is my son going to be affected by having a mom with breast cancer in his first years of life? Will this cause some form of scarring I can't do a thing to prevent?
• Is that ache a sign the cancer didn't get fully contained?
• Will my husband have to sail despite my condition?  Anything can change if there is a war.
• Why can't people be more supportive of military families instead of berating them for saying they wish their significant other wasn't going to need to leave them for their job.
• Will we have enough money even though I cannot work anymore from my injuries?
• Will I ever get a settlement for my injuries?
• Dammit >_< my back is killing me
• Stupid arm, stop having nerve pain.
• Will I be able to walk normally today?
• What if there's a complication from the surgery to replace the expanders with the implants?
• Should I not try to get any more saline put in the expanders?
• I wish I saw my friends more often.
• I miss a lot of friends that seem to not think I'm important.  Just because I'm not important to them it didn't mean they weren't important to me back then.
• Will the cancer come back?  Will I get a new form of cancer?
• Will my son have me throughout his life?
• I wish I had more support close by but I'm thankful for the support I do have
• I'm getting hungry...
• I know I'm forgetting to do something I was supposed to...
• What if I can't stay this strong for much longer?
• Why can't my ribs stop hurting?
• Bloody back...
• What's that song?  I like it...
• KITTEHS!=D
• Wish I could find a close place with Karaoke
• I miss going out dancing... blah!
• I hope my son has a lot more opportunities than I had

Well, that's enough for now.  Hope you had a great weekend!