Perhaps it is because of my last post that I have returned to this train of thought, or perhaps it is a constant in many a person's life, but either way I have. I am constantly wondering lately (as I remember doing before in high school), who the hell would notice if I left for a day? A week? A month? A year?.. Forever?
Yes, everyone gets caught up in their own lives. We've all changed and added responsibilities. But who really pays true attention to your existence? Many of us keep tabs of each other on Facebook, through texting, and such. This helps bridge the gaps between friends that have been kept apart from each other due to circumstance, but we're becoming dependent on it instead of actually connecting with our friends that live close by.
The question in a nutshell is: who am I important to? To whom am I the "i" in important and to whom am I just an "ant"?
To many I have become simply the "Bringer of the Son". I get scolded, berated, and yelled at for not "letting" people have more frequent visits from my son. Phrases are tossed around like, "We never get to see him," "We haven't seen him in sooooo long," "Why can't you think of us and bring him by, he's getting so big so quick." Well guess what... You have a vehicle, you have our address, you have our phone number. You miss my son so bad, visit yourself. If you don't see him enough for your liking, it's not my husband's or my fault. But to them that is all I am. The only reason they may notice my absence would be due to my son not showing up at their house. To them, my husband and I are the "ant". My son is the "i".
If I wasn't here anymore, if something happened and we moved away quickly without being able to contact anyone. Who would notice? And more importantly: who would care?