Unexpected miracles

Friends and family are now aware, but I've experienced a miracle recently.  Despite having 6 rounds of toxic chemotherapy, I am giddily happy to let the interwebs now know that I am pregnant.  I have spoken to my oncologist about this, and they wish me all good wishes.  The fact that the egg could create an embryo means the chemo did not affect my eggs to the point of sterilization and should not cause any side effects.

I know what it is like to be on the other side of the fence, now.  I have friends that cannot have children, and for a while, I was counted among them.  Seeing posts of growing bellies and constant updates of "baby so-and-so" now doing this or that can tear at your sanity.  I was always happy for my friends, but so bitter inside because that was one more thing cancer had taken from me.  I find that I am holding back a lot with posts about the pregnancy out of respect for that feeling.  I do not want to have my friends come to the point of needing to block my posts in their Facebook news feed.  Which, in some cases, was a necessary step to be able to face my own news feed the past two years.

If anyone has questions, I will answer them as best I can, but for the most part I will be limiting my pregnancy posts from this point on.  Thank you for all your support.  And, for those of you out there facing cancer now: there is hope.  Cancer may take a lot, but I hope you always find one thing that you thought it stole from you and can once more claim it as your own.  xoxo

Love is the greatest weapon

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr

YACC's Retreat Yourself 2013 registration is now open!

If you were diagnosed with any form of cancer between the ages of 18-39 (or there abouts) and are not too far off in that age, still, apply!  There's one in Nova Scotia, Alberta, and British Columbia this year, just click on the province for link's to YACC's site and application information.

Light the World

If I asked of everyone to light a candle for all those taken from me because of cancer all their homes would shine quite brightly.  The flicker would help remind us all that life is a delicate balance of feeding desires, fulling needs, and too much of either can cause it to snuff out.  The speed at which it descended the wick would depend on the quality of the life, the care put into creating it, but anything could arise and break the finest made candle.  That wouldn't make the warmth that it caused any less real, and it would not make the joy it brought any less meaningful.

But, instead of lighting a wick in your home, instead of digging out the matches, I ask of you to please ignite a flame within your heart.  Please try to bring warmth with your words and your thoughts.  Make the kindness flow through your veins and radiate from your actions.  Bring joy to your surroundings with every beat of your heart.  Honour those that could not make their heart beat any longer, but their light shone the brightest despite their conditions.  Bring love to your behaviours and make the world shine every day.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year

I hope everyone had a couple blessings come their way this Christmas season.  I wish for all of you the joy of the season and that the happiness you feel lasts year round.  May your health improve, may your mind expand, may your heart be filled, and may your passions fulfilled.

The world needs kindness and love, I hope that you will be a beacon of this in the New Year.

Lots of love:
Julie aka Silverlupus

Take a moment to remember

"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." -Jose Narosky
Lest we forget

YACC Survivor Conference 2012

Hullo one and all.  I have been slightly absent as I dealt with life these past few months.  I wanted to thank all those that helped me raise the funds to come to Conference.  Getting to talk and share with these few people that understand exactly my predicament because they have been through a lot of the same issues is simply intoxicating.  You go from feeling as though you are the rare mythical creature on display for the world to see, to feeling like you found your herd, your flock, your school, your pack, your pride.

I am reflecting and thinking of all the great connects that were worked on here.  The new connections with those I have never met before, the nurturing of the connections previously started, and the reminiscing of those connections lost over the year.

I cannot find the words to describe what being at YACC's Conferences is like.  This is something that a few of us discussed.  All I can do is share some feelings that come with the time we get to spend together: acceptance, love, admiration, loyalty, connectivity, joy, sorrow, exuberance, peace.