Fear Rant Part 1

The following is one of my Facebook statuses that I was recommended to share more publicly.  **Language warning, there is some swearing**

"If I see ONE more fucking post about how Angelina Jolie's "public stunt" or "fear based decision" is going to just cause panic in perfectly healthy people I'm going to fucking snap! Of course fear was a fucking factor! We're talking about cancer, not a stuffed nose and itchy eyes!! She saw her mother go through the treatments, she got news that she carries a mutated gene that has been proven over the years to increase your chances of getting certain cancers substantially!

I think more people are pissed off that she's doing this in the public eye, well guess what? People are uneducated in the ways of cancer until it's too late. People are scared. People know that there's only so much control one has over their body and cells. Perfectly healthy people, people that went to extremes like, people that followed vegan lifestyles, people that exercised every day, can still get diagnosed with cancer! Cancer is like the Honey Badger: it doesn't give a fuck!

If someone finds out that medically they are a high risk of getting something and there's a procedure to make that risk drop substantially, get your head out of your ass and support them, whether they decide to go with the procedure or NOT!

It's their life, their choice, and you have no say unless they personally ask you for your option!

Fuck!"

 And in case you have never seen the "Honey Badger" video:

 

Preventative Surgery

As many have heard by now, Angelina Jolie has had prophylactic breast mastectomies (and reconstruction) after discovering she carries the BRCA1 gene.  This, to me, is great news in that she has openly admitted that anyone can carry the gene, she is still in the young adult category and is admitting to being at risk of cancer, but above all else, she is encouraging people that if they have the option to have surgery to lessen their risk of cancer they should feel no judgement or guilt for doing so.

Choosing to have preventative surgery is not new to the medical field.  It is a personal choice and I ask everyone to not belittle someone's beliefs for either choosing to have it or to not have it.

The following is an exerpt from omg.yahoo's "The Juice":

Angelina Jolie, known for being fiercely private, has made a very personal disclosure.
The Oscar-winning actress reveals in an emotional op-ed for the New York Times that she underwent a double mastectomy earlier this year after a blood test showed she was genetically susceptible to cancer.

"The truth is I carry a 'faulty' gene, BRCA1, which sharply increases my risk of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer," she writes. "Once I knew that this was my reality, I decided to be proactive and to minimize the risk as much I could. I made a decision to have a preventive double mastectomy."

The 37-year-old mother of six says her decision was triggered in part by the death of her mother, Marcheline Bertrand, who passed away from cancer at the age of 56. 

Over the course of three months, beginning in February and ending in late April, Jolie went through a series of medical procedures to have her breasts removed and then reconstructed. And her fiancé, Brad Pitt, stood by her side every step of the way.

"I am fortunate to have a partner, Brad Pitt, who is so loving and supportive," says Jolie. "Brad was at the Pink Lotus Breast Center, where I was treated, for every minute of the surgeries. We managed to find moments to laugh together. We knew this was the right thing to do for our family and that it would bring us closer. And it has."

Though she managed to keep the procedures under wraps, she says that she wanted to come forward now "because I hope that other women can benefit from my experience."

Jolie -- who says her chance of developing breast cancer has dropped "from 87 percent to under 5 percent" -- encourages any woman who is considering taking such a major step in safeguarding their health to discuss their risk factors with doctors as well as their options.

"On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman," she says. "I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity."

"Life comes with many challenges," she concludes. "The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of."

image care of ynaija.com

The Purpose of Life

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Art of Happiness

Why is it that I am at my most content when I am painting or creating something for someone?  I love to paint and draw, create images on the computer, etc, and I'm trying very hard to get time to do this once more.  Injuries do not always allow me the luxury of sitting in one area long enough to complete a work like I once could.  This is a slight deterrent for me.  But I am trying.  My son seems to love creating as much as I do, he insisted on "helping mommy paint" so I grabbed a blank canvas, gave him a paint brush, and my only assistance was pouring the paint out so he could get it on his brush.  At one point he even turned to me (he was sitting on my lap), and said, "Mommy, you lay down, I paint, now."  This was his way of telling me he was going to paint on his own, with no assistance.  I asked if I could still pour out the paint, and that, he said, was okay.  He's only 3 years old.  He was extremely proud of his painting once it was complete.  As was I.

But this brings me back to my point, because my son told me his painting was for mommy.  He did not create it and feel proud because he had accomplished something, he was proud because he made me a gift.  This is how I feel.  I know many artists berate others for "giving away" their art, and yes I like money, but I love the sense of giving something to others, especially if I created it.  Is it simply from our childhood when a macaroni painting would be accepted from our guardians as though it was a replica of the Mona Lisa?  Is it from when our finger paintings and rough drawings of the imaginings of our heads seemed to overwhelm them like seeing the Northern Lights in person?  I cannot say.

I would love to have enough money, time, and health to simply dive into all the artwork in my head and simply leave it on the intended person's doorstep, hiding in the bushes to see their reaction as they receive it.  That would be enough.  I guess that's why I have a hard time putting a price on my art.  Value of art is never set in a monetary state.  It's in smiles, giggles, and tears.

Benefits to having Cancer: Part Two

You will feel important with your new "entourage".  Only they're not wealthy friends and followers, they're your gp, oncologist, radiation oncologist, surgeon, plastic surgeon, social worker, and as many nurses as the day is long.

Your period will be booted out for an indefinite amount of time.  Thus you will save even more $ with not having to purchase maxi pads or tampons.

If you don't understand medical terms you will rival most doctors by the time you finish treatment.

You feel like a superhero with an alter ego with all the wigs in your repertoire.

The opportunity to have that boob size you always wanted is now courtesy of your health care.  Be as boobilicious as you like!

If you are able to ever have children again, you don't have to worry about lactating and expensive maternity bras!

You can impress all your geek friends with how remarkable your Darth Sidious costume looks! (No makeup required! Just a black cloak)

:)

World Cancer Day

Apparently we now have a World Cancer Day.  Perhaps we've had it all along, but this is the first I've heard of it.  My thoughts?  My heart is so disgusted that we need a day of recognition for this.  I wish it was something that never took parts of my body, my friends' bodies, and worse, my friends.  But as we have Remembrance Day to remember that many have come home shells of themselves or those that have lost their lives to bring you the world you have today, I guess I can understand why some would start a day for cancer.  I am not saying having cancer is in any way truly comparable to what those enlisted must endure, so please no comments on that, it is simply a comparison of why there are days of recognition.

What does one do on World Cancer Day?  How about you hug a loved one and be thankful they are there.  Smile at the way you look in the mirror, for you are here, and don't belittle the "imperfections" society has burned into your psyche.  Laugh at a joke your friend tells you or sends to you online.  Call someone you've not spoken to in a long time.  Schedule a check up with your doctor.  Ask a professional about that spot/lump/odd body function that appeared and you never wanted to bring up.

Send a note saying I miss you to someone that didn't make it.

If cancer is going to have a day to be thought of world wide, don't focus on the cancer, focus on the person dealing with it.

Unexpected miracles

Friends and family are now aware, but I've experienced a miracle recently.  Despite having 6 rounds of toxic chemotherapy, I am giddily happy to let the interwebs now know that I am pregnant.  I have spoken to my oncologist about this, and they wish me all good wishes.  The fact that the egg could create an embryo means the chemo did not affect my eggs to the point of sterilization and should not cause any side effects.

I know what it is like to be on the other side of the fence, now.  I have friends that cannot have children, and for a while, I was counted among them.  Seeing posts of growing bellies and constant updates of "baby so-and-so" now doing this or that can tear at your sanity.  I was always happy for my friends, but so bitter inside because that was one more thing cancer had taken from me.  I find that I am holding back a lot with posts about the pregnancy out of respect for that feeling.  I do not want to have my friends come to the point of needing to block my posts in their Facebook news feed.  Which, in some cases, was a necessary step to be able to face my own news feed the past two years.

If anyone has questions, I will answer them as best I can, but for the most part I will be limiting my pregnancy posts from this point on.  Thank you for all your support.  And, for those of you out there facing cancer now: there is hope.  Cancer may take a lot, but I hope you always find one thing that you thought it stole from you and can once more claim it as your own.  xoxo