Shave-in-waiting?

I'm thinking of participating in a Shave For the Brave for YACC.  I wouldn't be shaving it all, however, that's still a little scary for me right now.  I can, however, donate 10" minimum of hair.  There is no big shaves happening in Halifax right now, so I am hoping to find a few friends that want to participate, or maybe an organization/school/workplace that would like to follow suit.

For timing, I am hoping to have this done late March or before the end of April.  The baby is due May 15th, so I'd like to have it done well before Malcolm makes his appearance.  (Yes, it's a boy and we're naming him Malcolm).  Short hair can help with caring for a newborn, frig, my daughter is still going through a bit of a hair pulling phase.

If you know of anyone that would like to help out young adults with cancer to connect, feel less isolated, and more informed, please contact me, especially if you're willing to join up with me in this Shave.  You don't need to shave, you can donate a minimum of 10" or you can hunt out people to shave/donate, instead.  Lots of options and they all help people like me cope with having cancer.

*Click the links above for more info on Shaves and YACC*

Surprise!

I had a surprise pop up back in September, a week before I was scheduled to have my breast implants exchanged.  I was anxiously awaiting the surgery, it was very close to the last step of my reconstruction.  I had been having issues for over six months, however.  (Get ready to cringe guys).  My periods were shortening greatly, only a couple days at a time, and they were much more frequent.  One month I had two, another I had three.  My gp arranged for me to see a gynecologist in at the IWK to see what was going on.

I had a lot going through my mind.  There was the less severe things like going into menopause early because of the chemotherapy back in 2010/2011.  Another much more terrifying thought was that cancer found a new home and had started up this change in my body.  My husband was trying to help me stay positive, but he's realistic like me, so he was trying to see all possible angles, as well.  Of course, the day before my appointment he says one possibility that I had not given a single thought, and quickly dismissed.  I'll elaborate shortly.

I have the gyno my history, the elaborate story of my cancer journey, including the birth of my daughter post cancer.  At the gyno's I had a test that was routine, just a precaution, that they had to always preform.  The gyno came in the room, preparing to do a scraping of my uterus to test for a few things, including types of cancer.  She looked at the test, so did the nurse.  My gyno says, "What does the second line mean?"  The nurse is still staring at the test, "It means she's pregnant."  My reaction?  "What do you mean there's a second line??  That wasn't there a second ago."

Sure enough, my husband jinxed me.  He had asked me the day before, "What if you're pregnant?"  I said to him that this had been going on for close to 6 months, if I was pregnant I'd be showing just a little by now.  Besides, we had been using protection.  I refuse to use birth control pills since cancer, but they claim that condoms are 99.9% effective.  Well, guess what, we're that magical 0.1%.

The funny thing, I was just 5 weeks pregnant.  I'm not sure what was causing my issue for the previous 6 months, but it had not been the pregnancy.  Everything medical got put on hold.  No surgery could happen after they knew I was pregnant.  Luckily, I could still get the injections for my back and shoulder while pregnant, so that was a lifesaver at least.  But, the reconstruction is on hold again, and I was not looking forward to how my injuries from the car accident would be paining me throughout the pregnancy.

This was a big surprise, we didn't plan on having more children.  We had talked about it for months and decided to leave our family at four, not five, just us and the two kids.  I had started gathering all my maternity clothes to take to my friend's consignment shop in Dartmouth, we were going to next start gathering the baby items and clothes to clear out.  As luck would have it we had not quite done any of that yet.

We're trying to figure this all out as we go.  Part of our reasoning before for staying a family of four had been my condition with my back and shoulder, but that is out the window, now.  I'll get to test my ability to withstand pain as I will have three munchkins to take care of.  Thank heavens I have my hubby, and my parents and siblings close by.

Let the next adventure begin!

Thankful 2014

I'm thankful for naps.
I'm thankful for family, both by blood and by friendship.
I'm thankful for a husband that understands me. He knows I try my best and even though I'm not capable of the things I was when we first married, he loves me no matter what.
I'm thankful for my kids, they drive me nuts sometimes but they also bring a lot of joy.
I'm thankful for a day in age where we can communicate across cities, countries, oceans, with relative ease, and we can communicate with people we admire, remembering they are human, too.
I'm thankful for my artistic abilities.
I'm thankful that I had intelligent doctors that knew the best way to save me from my cancer.
I'm thankful that I have met people that understand both cancer and getting disabilities from an MVA.
I'm thankful for Lolcats, I Can Has Cheezburger has brought me so much joy!
I'm thankful for cats.
I'm thankful that YACC exists and helps me to this day.
I'm thankful for books, written on paper, taking me away whenever possible.
I'm thankful for a house with heat in the winter and cooling in the summer.
I'm thankful for people like R A Salvatore, Tarol Hunt, Lar and Sohmer, and many more filling the world with beautiful stories.

I'm thankful I am here to write this, and that you are here to read it.

Being Thankful

I am thankful:

• For the fact my daughter napped long enough for me to have a bath.
• That my son says "I love you, too" back every time I say it to him.
• Despite money issues, we still have a heated roof over our head and food in the fridge.
• That I have friends that love animals as much as me, and they always try to help them.
• That I have people I could call in the middle of the night and they'd do their best to help me.
• That I live in Canada and the majority of my cancer treatments were covered by our public health care.
• For YACC helping me make friends that understand having cancer and still trying to live a "normal" life.
• That my husband comes home and is happier to be here than at work (even with children wrapped around his ankles).
• That my Dad helps where he can with the house and kids.
• For having my family close by, because there are a lot of people who do not.

Boobs v2.0

I'm anxiously awaiting my next surgery.  This one will be a much "simpler" procedure, they will remove the temporary expander and older implant, replacing them with what will hopefully be my permanent implants.  Of course, I say permanent, but they will be replaced ever few decades to ensure all measures of safety.

I'm finally nearing an end.  After this I may have very little, if any touch ups for the breasts.  I am not getting nipple reconstruction, so that is one less worry.  I am giddy that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!  I have to say this, breast cancer was not fun by any means but it has given me things to look forward to: end of chemo, end of radiation, and end of surgeries.  Unlike this issue with my back and shoulder from the car accident, with cancer I can feel accomplished, I can feel like there is a finality to this issue.

I am saving my pennies, well, dimes as we no longer have pennies... ugh.., to have a tattoo done to cover my chest after the breasts are complete and my tattoo artist is confident that the scars can be covered.  My hope is to have that completed some time in the next year.  Again, something to try to look forward to.  You have to try to find the happiness in things, otherwise you drown in despair pretty quickly.  This will sound weird, but thank you cancer, for helping me see the good in things, and helping me feel progress in something!

Are You Ballsy?

I want to give a shout out to Thomas Cantley.  He is pushing around a giant 6' inflatable testicle to bring awareness to testicular cancer and men's health.  Many of you know Thomas from his fabulous movement of "I Am Ballsy".  It can be found on Facebook *CLICKY HERE* or on his website *WEB CLICKY HERE*.

Thomas Cantley and the 6' inflatable ball. Photo from I Am Ballsy Facebook page

Thomas already crossed Canada, coast to coast, with this 6' companion.  The newest journey is taking place in the United States of America.  It will be 4000 miles across the country.  Check Ballsy's website or Facebook (links are above) for more information on locations and times.  Come on out and cheer him on!

Here's a video of Thomas speaking with Huffington Post:

Ballsy At Huffington Post 

 

Weight It Out

Of course one of the big hiccups in my life, even more so than cancer, has been the injuries from the MVA years ago.  One thing that has been a big factor in is weight management.  During my pregnancy with my daughter I had hoped I'd somehow find that niche that would allow me to maintain my weight and not gain a significant amount.  Some mothers can do this, even without turning to unhealthy habits like smoking.  Just keeping active and eating as well as you can is what everyone recommends.  That'd be fine for anyone without my injuries, but still I did my best.

Unfortunately, my best turned out to be the same as when I was pregnant with my son, I gained a lot of weight.  Some would say to not sweat it, that with time it will come off, but with me, extra weight seems to mean my back is carrying more, therefore hurts more.  So I stick with what exercises I have been given from physio, do what low impact ones I know do not bother my back, and so forth.  This does make it a slow process.

I try to remind myself that it took me almost two and a half years to lose the weight after my son.  I had finally been reaching a healthy weight for myself when I found out I was pregnant.  That is my goal, a healthy weight.  I'm not aiming for unrealistic or sickly sizes.  I would be a stick figure if I was able to wear a size 2 pair of jeans.  Honestly, if I could even get within a size or two of what I wore when I was fit, I'd be content.

Many may say it is a quest for vanity, to be society's idea of pretty.  I'm not looking at that, however, I'm looking at my health.  Less weight and stronger muscles means potential less pain for me.  It means potential increases in play time with my kids.  It means possible health risks for the overweight may be avoided.  Don't get me wrong, with new, perky breasts on the way, a fit body would be fun and I will enjoy it, but it is not the sole reason by far.

I guess I'm trying to say that if you have extra weight, do what you and your body can.  If you cannot run, walk.  If you cannot walk, try biking.  If you cannot bike, try something new.  Getting up and walking around the couch will not get you far, but you are lapping everyone still sitting down.