Friday, 13 May 2011

Technical difficulties

For about 24 hours I couldn't access my blog to write because Blogger was "correcting issues".  So every time I tried to login I would get an error page showing that Blogger was still experiencing technical difficulties, to try again later.

This isn't that far off to the experiences of cancer patients.  First I want to say if you have ever been walking along and tripped over your own feet, only to land flat on your face, or if you've been punched in the stomach, followed by a sucker punch to the face, or ran around a corner to what should be an open corridor, only to smash into a closed door, then you have an idea of what it is to be told you have cancer.  Now add a Chuck Norris patented roundhouse kick to the mix and you've also been informed that the tumour is enormous and most likely terminal (or could become terminal any moment).  This is your life bringing up its own Error code 3 (The driver for this device might be corrupted, or your system may be running low on memory or other resources).  Your own technical difficulties.

You just found out a part of your own body has become corrupt, its cells are no longer working the way they should, they've mutated to cancer.  You're going through so many emotions that your brain cannot process everything right away, your memory is running low, and you're so stunned, you cannot call on your strengths or talents or abilities to try to comfort yourself.  Error 3, sorry, we're experiencing technical difficulties.

Now with your computer or webpage, you either get a new one if you're made of money lol, or you hire a technician to repair or remove the bad sources and make it run like it once did, huzzah!  But we're not computers and webpages.  We get to begin a parade of visits: surgeons, oncologists, radiation oncologists, social workers, nurses, and the list goes on.  It's daunting... Terrifying... And, for most, stops your life cold.  You stand there looking at where you are:

You're on a cliff.  But there's not supposed to be a cliff, you think to yourself, I'm supposed to be just starting the next part of my life!  Maybe you were just getting out of high school, just finishing college, just starting a family, just retiring, just starting to get on your feet.  Now there's a bloody cliff that only shows fog and mist below you.  You look back and see the skid-marks from the screeching halt you just came to.   And the noise.., oh that noise!  There's rushing, gushing rapids thundering past the cliff.  Some will stomp their foot and scream at the fog, "This isn't FAIR!", others, "Why am I here?  What did I do?", and a few will say, "What's on the other side?"

We'll all react differently, but there's one thing to remember: you're just experiencing technical difficulties.  Yes, there will be lots, and lots, and lots of doctor's visits, treatments, and annoyances.  But it's just something you need to get "repaired" and then you can start to build your life again.  It's really hard to see passed that fog but there is a way through that fog.  It won't be instant, but you will find the way through.  You need some guidance, and I guarantee you it won't be just your doctor.  (And whatever your doctor says, make sure you research everything and make what choice is best for you!)

This does lead you back to that "Cancer Support Bra" I mentioned a while back.  No matter how strong you're trying to be, its okay to need help, and its even okay to ask for help.

So, throughout our trials and tribulations, just try to remember, this is just a bump in the road.  Just some technical difficulties.

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