Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Friend or Fiend?

Have you ever noticed how easily some people that claim to be friends can turn on you?  And after they're out of your life you'll start to realize just how much they were not really what would classify as a friend to start?  Well today's topic is about just that.  And I think I finally figured it all out.

First you need to ask "what is a friend?"  Quick answer is someone that is there for you and cares for you.  But we all know it's more than a simple answer.  A true friend doesn't get pissed off at you if you are apart for any length of time, they can pick off right from where you last ended the conversation, granted they also want to be able to have a conversation with you.  A friend will do something to help when they know it's needed, even if it's not convenient for them.  Friends don't lie, bend or twist the truth, they don't talk behind your back, they don't bad mouth you.  Friends stand up for you when someone says something mean about you.  They cheer you up when you're down, they share the laughter when you're happy.  Friends warm your soul.

So what is my epiphany?  Friends are real, they are never fake to you.  When a "friend" isn't real to you, when they are fake (they lie, cheat, hurt, maim, deceive you, etc), they show their true colours, they are fiends. *for anyone that doesn't know what a fiend is, as per : A diabolically evil or wicked person.

Honestly, look at it this way:

There's so many fake people out there.  They lie about themselves sometimes and get so used to it that you cannot see them for anything but their lies until it's too late.  They leave you when you need them most, they turn on you, they start spreading lies, they become hurtful.  And unfortunately this happens mostly when you are going through the roughest times in your life.

For me the times that I found out who my friends were was when my grandfather died, my exhusband left, and when I got diagnosed with cancer.  Yes, it was hard, I lost a lot of friendships that I discovered were only friendships on my side of the relationship.  And there's been a few that have made me very bitter.  But I'm trying to move on.  I'm trying to be a respectful and true friend and never hurt anyone that is my friend.  I hope they do the same for me.

And for all those that turned on me.. I rediscovered one of my favourite songs that perfectly describes my feelings about you :)  Because I see fiends like I saw my cancer, and I don't need their poison in my body or my soul!

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