Sunday 21 August 2011

"With all due ignorance"

I cannot understand some people.  They have no idea what a person is going through and they feel the need to express their own opinion, so what does the second person say to the first person (the one going through the situation)?  That the first person doesn't understand?  "With all due respect".  If they had respect for the person or their situation they would make more of an effort to understand the person's issues and not belittle their plight.  They would make sure that the opinion they are offering is valid to the plight the person is enduring.

Because of a "With all due respect" statement, I think I need to reiterate something.  I am fighting for the timely respect that Breast Cancer survivors deserve in completing their reconstruction, and thus their treatment.  Waiting 4+ years is torturous.  And if you think that is far fetched, you'd need to have something missing off your body that you would see every day to understand.  Have your ears missing, have your nose gone, no lips, four missing fingers, or both your thumbs.  See if you like being told you have only a two year wait and after 7-8 months be told it'll be another 2-3 years before you can even meet the doctor, not have the surgery that you were told would be completed in another 16-17 months, just meet the doctor.  We haven't finished our treatments until we have fully healed from all surgeries and treatments.

Now the term "ignorance" is not used in it's proper context any longer, either.  To be ignorant does not mean the person is stupid, it means they are uninformed/unknowable of a situation or feeling or experience.  It is not meant or intended to claim the person is a dolt, it is to express that they have no understanding of the matter at hand.  Telling us to just be happy we're here is not part of our fight.  We are happy we are here, we are so happy we'll fight for our rights.

A great example is the single woman/man looking at the parent with a screaming kid in tow and saying that that is bad parenting skills and they should not let the child scream like that in public, it's disturbing.  They may not realize that child has an illness, that child is overtired because they are teething and cannot sleep, the child tried to do something it shouldn't and is having a fit because it was reprimanded.  The point being the single person, unless they care for children, themselves, would rarely have any idea what is going on in the situation of the screaming child.  But they will march right over, if they are so bold, or post online "With all due respect, you shouldn't bring a screaming baby to the restaurant/theatres/mall/<insert public place here>".

Please be sure when you use the phrase "With all due respect" it is followed with respect and an educated opinion.  And remember, it is your opinion.  Opinions should be expressed but also understand when they are not valid to a situation.

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