Poetry in Her Heart

I was once a woman, at least that's what I'm told
I was once a woman, in days not long ago
That was before the treatments, ones like bloody chemo
Mastectomy, radiation, but to hormones I say no
But the creature in the mirror, that every day I see
That is not a woman, the creature is not me
It has a breast missing, hair is oddly growing back
It may have survived the battle but its image has been cracked
I am not whole and I am lost, I cannot find the way
I want to be a woman but the creature is condemned to stay
My heart is broken, my looks are gone so far away
I cannot understand why I'm tortured to stay this way
My sentence is clear now that the disease is gone
I won the battle but the sun has not yet shone
Be a creature now, a woman you cannot be
You are resigned to torture, the end you will not see
                                             -Julie Michaud 2011