The Climb

I have been going over the travel expenses I need to pay for to go to YACC's Survivor Conference in November and realized I have a short time to raise what I need.  YACC is kind enough to foot the bill for the actual conference but I have to pay for my flight, a couple nights at the hotel because of when my plane gets in/leaves, and I figured I should eat while there so I need that covered, too.  There's other misc that always pop up when traveling so I hope if you have an extra $5, $10+ dollars kicking around that you would be so kind and help me out.  If you CLICK HERE it will take you to a website YACC helped me create and you can safely and securely enter your information.

Thank you for your support!! :D

Change of heart?

I've had many thoughts come to me as the night starts to wane.  Sometimes they stay with me in the morning, sometimes I'm lucky enough to make a note somewhere so that when I try to remember and cannot, I jog my memory.  I was finally able to make a such a note the other night.

Change is a constant.  Change can be good.  Many times the change in our lives may not come across as beneficial until we are far from the point of the change.  One thing I hate to hear is "people can change".  I am not saying that someone can start to do good when all they seemed to do before was evil or vindictive.  What I am saying is that your inner self, your true self, your soul, does not. 

Think of it like a light bulb.  It shines it's beautiful light to share with whomever it can touch.  But it can be different.  It can have a shade to dull its glow.  It can be dipped in colouring to become a different hue.  The original light has not changed, it is having it's self portrayed differently.  It can even be covered so much that barely even a speck of light comes through to show it's inner beauty.

In this way we are very similar to the light bulb.  Our soul can shine through and be exactly who we are, but we can also make our intentions and actions appear to something else.  A person that is trying to fit in can start to mirror the actions of others in an attempt to be accepted.  And sometimes the light that is within one's soul is not always so brilliant and innocent.  They can give that appearance though.

You hear people say "they just changed one day", "they were always such a nice person", and they start to go on about how a person miraculously became the opposite of what they were.  But people do not change.  Desires, perceptions, presence of optimism, those can all change but not people.  One good example is those that would toss around a four letter word so carelessly to someone in order to strike awe into their heart in hopes of getting a not-so-nice four letter word that should only be given in a true soul mate's joining.  (Here's a hint, the first four letter word is l-o-v-e).

I do think a lot of good people get their light covered and hidden so much because they become afraid to show who they truly are.  We have a bad habit as a society to trample on what is different.  There is a big "bullying" campaign circulating the schools now.  I hope it helps, but bullying and teasing is woven so deep into our culture (just watch 15 mins of TV or any movie), that it gets hardwired that we have to accepted by our friends/enemies.

But I'm now on a tangent.  I hope that the point I was going for did come across.  People don't suddenly become something they never truly were.  They suddenly lose the flowery shade they were hiding behind.  And don't mock/tease/bully... take it from the person that most of my "peers" took it upon themselves to attack.  If you are the victim, there are people out there that care, and I hope you find the inner strength to get to them.

Call to art!

Yeah, getting more urges to draw and whatnot lately.  Really missed doing this to be honest.  So I'm working on a webcomic concept.  Had this idea for a while, just starting to breathe life into some of the character designs I had.  Here's some of the concept art I've made for them so far.

I'll work on the story line and more of the characters before I start getting the pages ready for the actual comic.  I might start showing it first on this blog or make another dedicated to it.  We'll see. :)

Silverlupus on the news about reconstruction wait times

Well my segment was on... They got my age wrong (29 at diagnosed, not 28) and cut out whenever I mentioned that this is affecting women of all ages with breast cancer, but I'm getting good reviews.

Click here and select on their "Housecalls" section of videos, the one you want is about breast cancer.

I'd like to note they also did not mention what I said about being able to go to New Brunswick and being able to have the surgery done in two or less months -_-

Quote for September

"We must hate the world enough to want to change it, but love the world enough to think it worth changing." - G.K. Chesterton

Breast Cancer Retreat

Just had a great time at a retreat for Nova Scotian women affected by breast cancer.  Many ladies that have had years (even decades) put between them and their original diagnosis, and also a lot of people with only a year or two behind them.

I went with a couple of my Pink Panther gals from BCANS' support group, and we had so many laughs.  It was a Mexican themed weekend, too!  Lots of information, sharing, and (of course!) wine lol.

It was held at the Tim Horton's Camp in Tatamagouche.  Great facility, great staff, great scenery.  This is held annually and I'll try to post about this event as next year's approaches.

I'll leave you with some photos of us :)

News interview

I just participated in an interview with Live at 5 (Atlantic CTV show) about reconstruction.  It will be airing on Wednesday September 21st, 2011.  If you do not get this show at your house you can go to CTV's website and look up Live at 5 and it will be aired as one of their "housecalls".  I don't know how long it takes to go onto their website so it may not be there until the 22nd or later.

Is it the right choice?

Right now I have a difficult decision ahead of me.  I may have several options as to what I could have for reconstruction but the version I wanted is not one of them.  At least, it's not recommended.

How do you make a decision that can affect the way you live for the rest of you life when you are completely unsure on all options.  Second opinions are not an option in that I was completely and utterly lucky to even get this information given to me at this point in time.  Do you go for something that is relatively easy but nowhere near what you desire or do you go for something that may be closer to your wants?  Or do you stick to your true desire and go with what is not recommended and risk it all?

I cannot seek help from a lot of people in this instance.  Most have not had these procedures.  Some are still waiting to talk to their specialists.  I hope to find some solace in this weekend as I embark (if the nurse ever gets back to me) on a journey to my first Breast Cancer Retreat in Nova Scotia.  Perhaps I can be lucky again and find more people that can give educated advice.  Perhaps someone can recommend a better course of action.  It's one horrible thing about going through completely unknown territory for not only my life but my age group.  And no matter what, there's a risk that any procedure will not work at all.

Realizing I've been completely vague this entire blog and not meaning to, I saw a plastic surgeon today and he advised me as to what he recommends for procedures for reconstruction on my breast(s).  He also gave me some insight as to what he sees wrong in the system for getting breast cancer survivors in after mastectomies and becoming "delayed" patients.  I think I freaked him out a little with my story about my cancer.  At least he thinks I'm strong.  He didn't hesitate to tell me that I could be strong enough to endure any lengthy surgery.

Do I push for what I want, what could get, or what the doctor thinks I should do?  I guess it's time to start praying harder for answers...

Time for Young Women to Rethink Breast Cancer

Thanks to meeting up with YACC, I've been able to meet with many other young adults with cancer.  It's helped with the stress of feeling alone, given strength with knowing others are going through the same issues, and has brought a lot of laughter and great friendships.  But, there's also sometimes groups out there for individual cancers (a local one for breast cancer is BCANS).

One that I have just recently encountered and love their approach is Rethink.  They are trying to connect, educate, inform, and help young women with breast cancer and their families.  Rethink has great programs and events to help young women with breast cancer.  They are making their way into the provinces, this means they may be closer to you than you think!  Give their website a look by clicking here and see everything they have to offer!

(image from Rethink)

Quest for fitness

I've had some excess weight on me since I had my son (almost two years ago, now).  So I have been trying to shed the pounds but had nothing working for me.  Having to go through chemo, surgery, and radiation did not help matters in the least, either.  With so much out of my control, I needed to start seeing the weight going down so I could feel better about myself and have that small measure of control back.

I finally took a shot and had some sessions with a friend that does hypnotherapy.  She has a program for losing weight safely and effectively.  I finally started to lose weight.  The clothes are fitting or falling off now, and I find I just want to exercise, instead of feeling like it's another chore to add to the list.  So I have to give a shout out to Ursa Major Hypnotherapy.  And if you're in the Halifax area and would love to give it a try, just click on the link in the previous sentence to see her Facebook group.

One thing that my husband did to help me out is he purchased for me the WII Fit Plus.  I like that it feels like a game, but it is working your cardio and muscles at the same time.  I don't think it would be for people that are rather obese and need to get a lot of weight off but for toning and adding some fun to a workout you already have in place, it's a great investment.  Another thing I like about it is it shows you what it thinks your BMI (body mass index) is and helps you keep track of your progress effortlessly.  Let's see if I can get back to that size 5/6 that I was when I was my healthiest!  Wish me luck

Art craving

Had an idea come to me and finally got to paint it yesterday.  I was going for a simplified image, nothing overly perfected as nothing in life is ever "picture perfect" lol  They're a series about the experience of breast cancer.  Your experience may vary =P

"The News"

"The Treatment"

"The New Me"

"The Hope"